You may have heard of the term family meeting in the past and wondered what the point is. There are reasons why family meetings are meaningful and ways to promote bonding through family meetings, so everyone’s opinion and interests are valued, respected, and understood.
Family meetings are specific times busy families reconnect to discuss important issues like scheduling, tardiness, behaviors, significant family changes, etc. Getting together to talk about the family dynamic and ways to plan effectively helps everyone understand ideas and value varying opinions.
This post will dive into the meaning of family meetings and different rules so that everyone’s voice is heard and appreciated. We’ll talk about the various ways to organize meetings so it transitions well and stays on topic. Family meetings are incredibly effective at bringing people together in a non-threatening way.
Sometimes, parents rely on harsh punishments to get kids to comply. Family meetings will replace the judgments parents make when they don’t understand their children. You will feel better, more stable, and parent with a clearer mind and heart.
What is the Meaning of a Family Meeting?
Family meetings are a predictable time to reconnect with family members, so everyone is on the same page and ideally free from distractions. Families come together to discuss specific times and exchange information during full schedules; meetings are essential for proper communication.
You may be asking yourself, what is the purpose of a family meeting? Do they even work?
Family meetings are an intentional time to reconnect with family members during hectic schedules.
They are an essential time to brainstorm ideas, propose solutions to scheduling problems, discuss potential trips, surface bottled tension, distribute chores, bring up family changes, concerns about lifestyles, or anything else that needs acknowledgment.
Meetings are safe, non-confrontational, and well-structured –for planning trips or events like vacations and day trips, while others are intervention-style meetings. Typically, it is best to integrate family meetings into a standard routine, so behaviors don’t get out of hand and make preventative plans for common problems.
People are usually calm and prepared to discuss issues or problem-solve. Meetings increase connection and encourage bonding time.
There are specific things families discuss during family meetings that usually guide the family in a certain direction. Whether it is a smallie or a biggie, meetings will bring up some stuffed feelings and help with planning.
Your child might have a hard time with a schoolmate and want to discuss a plan for dealing with undesirable behaviors. Perhaps, your child is staying out way too late or is constantly late for their extracurriculars. This time might bring up some of the things causing tardiness and ways to improve everyone’s schedule.
How To Know When Your Family Needs a Meeting
There are some signs to identify when first contemplating a family meeting. Most parents want to talk more with their children and wait until they are developmentally ready to sit and discuss major problems.
There could be significant problems lurking behind you as you wait, though. Some parents might notice an increase in poor behaviors or friends being super chatty. You might notice neighbors talking about your child, and you want to bring it up gently, so children can voice some concerns.
People must communicate well to ensure plans go smoothly or plan vital appointments. Often, family members are just living life and ignoring the signs. People unknowingly resort to poor communication because no one has carved out any listening time.
| Reasons Your Family Needs A Meeting | Signs Your Family Needs A Meeting |
|---|---|
| You are planning a major event. School attendance issues. To communicate needs and wants. Someone has passed. Safety is an issue. Set long-term goals. To define specific ideas and strategies. Conflict-resolution. Increased family anger. Someone has been violent. There is a lack of family structure. Traditions help people bond. Healthy habits are important. Constructive arguments are very useful. | Violent behaviors are unmanageable. There is a significant family change. Teachers have communicated problems. The family feels unbalanced. Talking becomes a power struggle. There are unresolved issues from the past. Some behaviors are undesirable. Children have been distant. Too much screaming and yelling. There is no negotiating. Family members are giving you the cold shoulder. Door slamming. Kids are having a hard time listening. Schedules are disheveled. |
Are Family Meetings Effective?
When family meetings are consistent, non-judgmental, and cooperative, they are helpful for many families and close friends. They give busy people an opportunity to communicate and negotiate solutions to everyday problems without the speediness of life getting in the way.
Families work on problem-solving together because they identify the issues and work to create a master plan that works for everyone. Working through specific problems as they arise helps everyone focus and see the value in communication.
Kids are usually empowered because they feel like their voice matters. They get the chance to voice concerns and offer suggestions when they think they have an idea that will benefit the family. They feel good when people respect their unique opinions.
People learn to identify, negotiate, collaborate, and plan different ways to get along. You might be planning a nightly event and want everyone to bring up potential problems. Meetings give families the time to understand one another’s problem-solving techniques and plan for the future.
Do Family Meetings Actually Work?
Family meetings work because they are predictable and regular. When integrated into everyone’s schedule, they become just as common as movie night.
I constantly get on my family about movie night! If kids can get excited to watch a movie, they can use the same brainpower to understand the benefits of being heard.
Everyday issues can surface during these get-togethers. It doesn’t have to be negative.
They are extremely helpful if the family seems disjointed and distracted because it becomes a reliable time to bring up a topic that gets ignored during chores or because someone is experiencing strong emotions.
A safe and memorable time to chat will involve children in problem-solving because they will recall the last time they felt heard and understood. It works wonderfully when parents are too busy to listen to demanding requests; they can say, “Save it for the next family meeting day.”
More Benefits of Family Meetings
- They are a commitment to family.
- Meetings increase self-esteem.
- They promote healthy communication.
- Talking encourages community building.
- Kids and parents learn to compromise.
- Families stay connected.
- Meetings maintain balance.
- They identify a potential conflict.
Tips for Successful Family Meetings
Active listening is helpful because people feel less threatened when they are heard. Try not to interject or judge someone else’s problem constantly. Identifying problems is part of the issue. It may help kids’ and adults’ relationships if they are patient with each other, even if the opposite party understands the problem while the other does not.
Take the time to listen and acknowledge the time it takes to identify issues and kindly reflect by saying things like “Well, I am glad you are starting to understand the issue.” or “You are thinking a lot about that time I said no. Do you want me to respond yet?”
Non-judgmental communication is helpful, so no one feels personally attacked or threatened.
Identify dominant parties beforehand so everyone knows who talks a bit too much and who feels left out or misunderstood, ensuring complete involvement.
Value other opinions and promote open dialogue so everyone feels like it is a productive talk. The last thing you want is for someone in your family to hate family meetings because no one listens.
Consider different ages and respect the time. Use appropriate language as much as possible. You may want to say something like, “No, thank you. I don’t like my butt pinched while I’m preparing dinner.” to a five-year-old instead of “I don’t appreciate my personal space disrespected while cooking.” to a teen.
Keep it short. It may be that the family meeting is 30 minutes, and then the kids peel off while parents continue to discuss scheduling conflicts.
Prepare for huge feelings to arise during this time and use the opportunity to be with the family member who is hurting and suffering emotionally. Try not to feel personally attacked when someone blows up at the meeting. It will happen from time to time.
Remember that bottled-up feelings are normal; they are part of healthy development. Listen kindly and reflect when someone is emotional, especially when it directly relates to another family member.
Decide on whether to include food in the meeting. Some families find it helpful to have light refreshments and snacks. Steaks and potatoes, maybe not so much. Just decide how much you want to consume during this time to ensure adequate attention.
What Are Some Rules for Family Meetings?
Rules are helpful if you or others know that certain family members irk others’ nerves or get rowdy and bothersome. Maybe someone has gotten into the habit of being majorly persuasive without considering other viewpoints; perhaps they constantly interrupt.
Some families prefer deciding on rules ahead of time, so everyone understands specific triggers or potential problems with communication.
Some Rules to Consider for Family Meetings:
- Everyone gets a turn.
- Listen.
- Use timers.
- No shouting.
- No alcohol.
- Gently encourage participation.
- Say “I” more than “You.”
- Same place.
- Same time.
- No violence.
- Respect.
- No screens.
- Keep it short.
- Make a plan.
- One topic at a time.
What is a Family Meeting Agenda Plan?
It is best to plan the family meeting’s time, place, and duration before it happens. Consider the age of your children. It is best if they aren’t too long because young children can not sit for that long. Also, remember that consistency is your friend. If you plan it for Monday evenings and miss one, try again next Monday.
You might want to have some particular topics in mind before sitting down and discussing them to prepare for backup and a wrap-up plan. It is best to predict what will happen before committing to family time. Maybe someone wants to talk about annoying behaviors like flicking ears or excessive juice consumption. It is good to know what kind of talk the family needs –serious, playful, planning, cooperative.
Consider using paper or whiteboards to map out particular suggestions or make a list of consistent points. You might hear playdate ideas, party themes, holidays, or extracurriculars that need exploring. Jot them down and use the calendar to remember; mark certain days you want to consider.
Make a plan for the meeting and wrap up with the plan. This ensures that there is movement and reciprocity within the family. Help everyone remember the plan and teach them that verbal commitment is essential for effective communication.
Thoughts
Communication is vital for families these days. People are busy on their smart devices, doing sports, and doing academics. Parents constantly work, and kids don’t always get the time they need to explain things adequately. Understanding that this is a regular part of daily life will help you as you venture into this type of communication. Family meetings are meaningful and beautiful because they propose solutions and involve the entire family in healthy patterns.