There are many different reasons that moms are tired, and I understand you have some questions. Some people are hesitant to ask for fear of broken coffee cups or shredded diapers– no need to worry. Mission Momplex is a safe place to ask these questions, primarily because they relate to moms’ mental health.
Moms experience numerous changes and don’t always understand how they affect the body. They may lack trust, proper diet, and emotional guidance– perpetuating fatigue. Understand why your partner is completely exhausted to help you communicate and find appropriate resources.
I embraced my confusion, rage, and ambivalence when I started parenting. Many people are confused about how to react and talk to moms when they act this way. It is common for people to remain quiet and assume they will figure it out. There are layers to understanding why moms are tired; this is an excellent place to begin uncovering forgotten topics. This post will explain some common reasons moms are so tired and offer some advice on how to help!
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Why Do New Moms Feel Tired All the Time?
Many fresh moms are tired because their body is changing. Pregnancy and childbirth are physically and emotionally demanding. New babies are tons of work, and many moms take care of their newborns while still recovering from childbirth. Women experience depression, weight fluctuations, and cravings, contributing to tiredness.
Some more reasons new moms feel tired.
- Hormones
- Balancing life and new babies
- Mom fatigue
- Anemia
A lot of moms are anemic, and a lack of iron contributes to insomnia as well. Hormones are changing, and the body is adapting to the new lifestyle and new family dynamics. New moms have inconsistent eating patterns and poor habits until they learn to adjust to the new baby. They are experiencing loads of changes- emotionally and physically. Check out this post for more reasons moms are tired.
Is it Normal For Moms To Be Tired All The Time?
It is natural for moms to be tired frequently. They are adjusting to a new lifestyle, learning about new things, and accommodating all sorts of people. It takes a lot of energy for the body to go through pregnancy and then birth.
Moms are tired from their bodies producing milk, from fluctuations of change, and because they are an alarm clock for children’s feeding schedules. The added responsibilities include diapering, cleaning, cooking, making money, and shopping.
Mom’s brains are stimulated and fatigued. People use sleep to recharge, stay mindful, and process daily tasks and memories. Rest is limited for years while new parents change their lives to accommodate new humans, causing them to get tired and confused.
Ways to Help Tired Moms
There are ways to help a mom feel better when they are exhausted. First, you must understand the reason they are fatigued to learn how to help them. It may take some time for them to figure out how to communicate needs and not place blame. Check out this post on more specific ways to help a tired mom.
Three practical steps for helping a tired mom
- Find out why they are so tired
- Ask if they want help
- Figure out a healthy way to offer that help
Some moms want to keep to themselves, while others are more transparent. Moods change, and it can be challenging to connect with a mom to figure out how to help. Please keep trying.
It can feel like a guessing game, which could help you understand why moms are so tired– they might be guessing too. They might not know how you can help because there is too much for them to focus on.
They may be unable to pinpoint one specific area that needs help or continue a conversation because it keeps getting ignored. Maybe the way they feel is confusing for them, and they need another person to help them make sense of their feelings and tasks.
The Best Way to Help a Tired Mom Sleep
Different ways to help tired moms sleep depend on the person’s needs. Consider listening options when you are helping a mom go to sleep and learn to trust what they are telling you. Listen.
Start with being a listener to allow them to understand their needs. Research shows that the brain goes primitive when people are tired. Tiredness results in people becoming overly emotional. They may attempt to tell you what they need but are overthinking it due to emotions. Engage in their verbal needs as best as possible. Please remember that it may not be about you, even when she is talking about you. Moms forget when their complaining is directed at someone else because they are on alert and over-tired.
Sleep requires the brain to feel calm, and when moms get stimulated, they don’t sleep because their time gets spent trying to remain steady or feel heard. They may need to complain, have an evening out alone, or just be frustrated with you. Behaviors might not look like sleeping to you, but it will look any way that feels necessary for a new mom to be relaxed enough to sleep.
Why Moms Do Most of the Household Worrying
Many caregivers worry because they don’t communicate well and fail to trust others with their problems. Moms fail to remember to value proper communication because they take in many sensory experiences and decide which needs attention moment by moment. Communication suffers because their brains are full and unable to constantly determine how to adjust to accommodate other people in a quick second.
Consider if trust is controlling the ability for a mom to ask for help. Think about it and stay curious. Learn that it is acceptable to delegate specific responsibilities to someone else –neighbors, family members, friends. If they can manage the tasks and it doesn’t make mom feel crazy because it looks different, let them help!
Why Mothers Eat Unhealthy Food
Irregular schedules cause mothers to eat poorly. It is prevalent for working moms to eat high-fat and high-sugar snacks because their bodies are confused. Their heightened state forces them to panic, and they choose foods they think will sustain them, although these foods do the opposite.
Moms are convinced through media and other sources that poor eating is a fad or a trend. It conditions them to think that their eating habits are just a phase and that they are doing that “silly mom thing.”
Genuine hunger causes people to eat poorly. They don’t make good choices when they aren’t getting adequate nutrients. The cycle continues similar to the way emotions and fatigue relate in the brain.
Why Some Moms Sleep More Than Others
Sleeping more than usual could be due to depression. A common side-effect of post-partum depression is sleeping too much and feelings of hopelessness.
Overstimulation could lead a mom to intense sleeping habits. When the mental load gets so overwhelming that they can’t function, the last option is sleep. Most moms tough through it for some time before their bodies crash and fall asleep for long periods.
Fluctuations in hormones lead to changes in sleep as well. Moms are all different and experience their unique cycles of ups and downs. One mom may be in a sleeping stage while another is feeling energized and excited.
What To Say to an Emotionally Exhausted Mom
Help a mom to feel valued and loved by being genuine and kind. Show that you care without being passive-aggressive or sarcastic. You may need to consider talking to someone about your feelings before communicating properly to a tired mom.
Everyone is different, and people communicate differently. Some may be wordier; others more succinct. Think of different ways you can listen, offer advice, and help the tired mom. You might start with, “Do you want a nap?” “I am home now. I’ll take over the bottle.”
Things to say to exhausted mom:
- I hear you.
- I want to help you.
- May I offer advice yet?
- How can I help you get more sleep?
- What would you like help with?
- Do you want me to do it?
- Can I help?
- I will do it!
Gifts For a Stressed Out Mom
Gifts for moms should be practical. Think about what they genuinely need help with to get the best gift. Soaps, lotions, chocolates, and wines are typical gifts for moms.
Think about their lifestyle and purchase gifts that are unique to them and their needs. Listen to what they say to see if there are any underlying problems and think of ways to help.
They might need a new car seat, a cleaning service, or a class on parenting more than they need food or soap. If you must purchase something small –like a pick me up– try teas, candles, and natural fragrances to help elevate their mood. Ask them about gift cards to pick out their needs or wants.
Resources For New Moms
Dr. William Sears has a great library of resources for moms who want to improve their lifestyles and learn to promote wellness. The Healthiest Kid in the Neighborhood is an excellent book if you are trying to learn about nutrition, diets, and good food habits. Many others in the series have helped people succeed at parenting and communication.
Gemma Hartley wrote the book Fed Up: Emotional Labor, Women, and the Way Forward. Her book describes in great detail what emotional labor feels like, how she got there, and how she is communicating change. She explains the invisible nature of emotional labor and the lack of balance.
Celeste Yvonne of The Ultimate Mom Challenge promotes sobriety. She is on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. She is an excellent resource for moms who continue to hold themselves accountable for their actions and live alcohol-free lifestyles.
Dr. Laura Markham is a very active parenting coach online today. Her book Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids, is a favorite of mine. She sends weekly emails that genuinely benefit the reader. Her guides are easy to understand and have step-by-step instructions. She has a parenting course available as well; it is lovely.
Mother Flipping Awesome, started by Abigail Wald, has a lot of excellent advice. She has a podcast, an app, and a transformative mom team. She is supportive, loving, and down-to-earth.
Hand in hand parenting is another online resource for parents learning accountability and control. I have heard from many people that have taken their courses that they understand themselves and their families better. The website is full of resources, support networks, and you can work directly with one of their parenting coaches.
Taryn Dickey is actively talking about sobriety, healthy routines, and self-care on social media. Search for social media accounts that promote self-care and healthy habits! Some great folks on the internet are encouraging parents to be their best, and they want to see your face. Make your own group or join some well-established forums to talk about your family and your body!!!
Conclusion
Helping a mom is confusing work! They are going through physical and emotional changes that interfere with their communication. Parents are often overworked and stretched to the max. Remember to be kind and ask gentle questions to help your person with their new lifestyle.