If anyone understands the struggle that comes along with describing and promoting stress relief and self-care, it is me. While driving a co-worker home once and gently arguing that turning left at the roundabout was the wrong choice, I realized that people do get the picture when you say the words, “Please trust me, this way is easier.” He slumped in his seat, but he thanked me later when he got home 12 minutes sooner.
People want to try their way first, and many friends and families are often rude or impatient when trying to communicate what is better for the body. Some people, even me, push their way first or stomp on other’s ideas when they know their solution is better. Patience and love are essential. Give people the opportunity to try a thought again and remember your agreements. I am in it for the long haul, are you?
Self-care is a routine to care for your body. As people have gradually learned more about individual lifestyle options and the importance of self-care, the dialogue about healthy choices has flourished. Taking care of our bodies impacts communities, families, and ourselves.
Remember my friend I told you about who wanted to direct me into an incorrect route to his house? We are still friends! Understanding and communicating self-care should be done calmly and without fear. It is okay to know when you think you understand something about someone else’s body, and they do not. If the goal is to promote this awareness, do it gently and offer a kind ear after someone fails at their idea.
What does self-care really mean?
According to the World Health Organization, self-care is the
the ability of individuals, families and communities to promote health, prevent disease, maintain health, and to cope with illness and disability with or without the support of a healthcare provider.
https://www.who.int/reproductivehealth/self-care-interventions/definitions/en/
Taking care of your body can be small things that we take for granted, like brushing our teeth, which prevents disease, a daily walk to a local pond because exercise promotes wellness, or chatting with people at a nearby market.
We already know how to do small tasks, such as breakfast, stretching, or communicating, but they get ignored because we are stressed.
What is stress?
Everyone has their own version of what stress means in their mind. Our understanding of stress has become dependent on society’s stigma and judgments; therefore, we don’t fully process what stress means.
Think of a fish tank. Now imagine you keep putting your hand in the fish tank– frightening the fish. Now visualize that for hours and hours– frightened fish.
That is stress!
Stress can feel like intense pressure, overtiredness, feeling overworked, fearfulness, and constant struggle.
Why do you need to take care of your body?
The entire point of self-care is to relieve ourselves of stressors. Remember the fish? When you remove your hand, the fish are fine. If you get stressed out because of something, you may need to remove it from your routine and fill your time with something that does not cause you anxiety. If this is a job, a personal habit, a hobby, or a person, it is hard.
You may have forgotten to give yourself the chance to choose another option a long time ago. You may feel stuck, unworthy, or confused. The impact that your lifestyle has on your body is what will make or break you. Try to find time to feel calm by incorporating self-care routines into your day the best you can.
Physical
Stress takes a toll on our body physically. We may be too physical with our kids, working too hard outside the home, or not giving ourselves the time we need to feel relaxed. If you overexert yourself, different parts of the body will buckle under the pressure and start to hurt, get fatigued, and feel weak.
You may have a sore neck and back because of physical strain. You may have an upset stomach or get constipated quickly. There are significant health effects to intense physical stress, too, like increased heart rate and cramping.
It is vital to your health to identify which stressors are causing you the most physical discomfort. After long periods, they get ignored and then compound, which causes us to forget the original culprit. Your body overcompensates for its initial stressor– causing more physical pain.
Mental
The stress that brains take on boggles my mind! Wait, I should stay calm. Mental health is seriously stigmatized. Talking about our mental health is part of combating sadness, depression, and phobias. If someone can not handle listening, it is okay. Many people do not know how to be active listeners.
Keep trying and continue talking about it until you find someone who will listen. There are people who will listen. I am, for example, someone who understands how to listen. Many people don’t understand this skill, and it takes time. When you find someone who gets it, they usually will say, “I get that.” This does not mean that they will validate you; it means they will listen to you.
Mental fatigue looks slightly different for everyone, but there are some obvious signs that someone may be struggling. Sadness, addiction, negativity, serious anger, memory problems, irritability, and hopelessness are signs of mental health problems.
Understanding the symptoms of mental fatigue you experience will help you follow the breadcrumbs back to the stressor. My favorite technique for trying to become aware of a stressor is facial tapping. And please, don’t knock it until you have tried it. Awareness is becoming more and more challenging as we continue to ignore stressors, which puts our mental health at risk.
Social
Social stressors have become more and more common since Covid-19 erupted, which is exactly why we should continue talking about them. Stress can affect the way we communicate, express intense emotions, and make friends. False judgments influence our friendship, and viruses certainly can isolate people.
When we undervalue ourselves, we eliminate opportunities we should gain because we feel we won’t contribute to a conversation or a solution. We become self-conscious and fear that we are worthless in a social setting, which drags us down. It is common to avoid social settings for safety reasons; it is also okay to recognize when it has become an issue.
Adjust it; don’t bust it!
missionmomplex.com
Choosing to avoid a social setting is fine. Try again when you realize that the safety net isn’t working anymore and you still feel lonely or depressed. Please try not to judge yourself or others because this will perpetuate the problem and cause more stress.
Why should self-care be a priority?
Self-care is a lifestyle choice, not selfishness. This is a profound realization when you consider self-care as an option for your lifestyle.
It is common to fill your schedule with very meaningful responsibilities and tasks. It is normal for those tasks to cause stress. There is nothing wrong with taking a break from them.
Consider how refreshed you will feel after you have eliminated a stressor from your life. The more you can identify which tasks cause you the most discomfort, the easier it will become to create boundaries between yourself and your duties.
Why do people feel bad about self-care?
Our success is an addiction, and self-care is overlooked. The many Youtubers and some coaches who prefer pressure might confuse viewers. There are guides and tips for success that promote over-stimulation and intense routines without considering whether it benefits their target audience.
There is nothing inherently wrong with focused activities or excessive routines if you know the care you require to recover. The problem is that people focus heavily on the performance and not enough on the recovery, which makes people feel like taking care of the body is a selfish act and not one done out of self-care. People feel bad about it when they don’t feel successful.
The recovery should be part of the routine.
How do I do self-care?
There are plenty of articles –like this one— that list out different ways to practice self-care. There are social media accounts that talk about it and describe what it might look like daily. Besides basic tasks like eating lunch and teeth-brushing, stress-relief is learning what your body craves to feel calm and stress-free. Sometimes we want to see what it looks like for others, and that’s fine. Be curious!
Keep trying different methods, and when you find one that works, eliminate another if it hasn’t provided any relief. Giving yourself too many options could also be stressful, especially if you pay subscription fees and buy materials. Opt into the free subscriptions when you can to try it out, and remember to opt-out if you learn they are not benefiting you. When you find one that helps your style and goals, proceed to purchase materials if required.
It could start simple, like changing some music stations on your device to more calming music or going through your feed and deleting channels you no longer rely on using. Try small steps like eating a healthy food you have wanted to eat or creating a collage of pictures for your wall that remind you of people you love.
As you learn and grow, you may want to try challenging things like a long hike or telling a family member you longer speak with why you choose to distance yourself. These can be hard choices. It is okay for it to feel hard. Learn about your body and your values to get close to understanding yourself.
How to implement a more consistent self-care routine?
Set short-term goals for long-term success. Remember that the small steps are what contribute to the big picture. It is better to focus on small things and save the significant stressors for your back pocket.
The big stressors are the warning sign. Acknowledge the signal, thank the signal for keeping you safe, and move on. You will be more focused on the tasks at hand when you remember that the smaller jobs, presumed to be insignificant, are the building blocks to your success.
Try journaling, writing on a whiteboard, or setting timers for yourself to stay focused. Tell your family and friends that you are trying something new for your body to see how it feels. Try not to judge others if they are judging you, and remember to be kind to yourself when others criticize your efforts.
You are modeling self-awareness, honesty, and integrity through your self-care routine. Learning new things and incorporating them into your life will teach others that it is okay to be different and unique.