Parenting – Page 13 – Mission Momplex

Parenting is one of the most draining and time-consuming jobs on the planet. There are very few opportunities to "clock out"; therefore, people spend a lot of time processing the most appropriate parenting choices and styles while they are a parent. According to the CDC, "Parenting is a process that prepares your child for independence." While some habits come more naturally than others, it is always a good idea to look around to see what other options there are to ensure you are giving yourself the chance to tread new ground if desired. There are a total of eight different styles of parenting; authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, uninvolved, helicopter, lawn-mower, free-range, attachment. Everyone has their own opinion about parenting. There are so many different parenting variations, and learning how they relate to one another will help you discover differences in these styles as you contemplate your options. Parenting styles most likely evolve through patterns we associate with our parents. Considering everyone is raised slightly differently, I wasn't surprised to see the number of documented parenting options. They range from carefree to strict. Authoritarian parenting parent perspective Authoritarian parents typically enforce strict rules and limitations and demand compliance. These patterns involve imposing restrictions on children with limited to no explanations. Not only do these parents encourage obedience, but they also enforce arbitrary punishments and discipline. Parents interested in making decisions to ensure their children's safety and well-being are uninterested in a joint parent-child approach. Since authoritarian parents do not encourage negotiations, relationships lack deep communication. child perspective Children may be curious and try to raise questions and express opinions. More importantly, a lack of responsiveness from parents results in children who become scared of making independent choices. When children get disciplined with no explanation, interactions between children and parents evolve into conditioned responses. Therefore, children will decide whether they will please their parents instead of engaging in independent thought. For children, this may limit creative thinking as they become accustomed to these patterns. Authoritative parenting parent perspective Similarly, authoritative parents enforce rule-following but encourage reciprocity compassionately and communicatively. Parents do not constantly challenge opinions and are more active listeners. Parents accept that children have personal goals and aspirations while imposing boundaries and encouraging guidelines. They also allow children to be involved in the decision-making process, which fosters autonomy. These relationships look more child-led and empathetic. In turn, it helps to acknowledge children's unique perspectives and personal strengths. A common phrase used to describe this style is firm but kind. child perspective Since children are naturally curious, authoritative parents convey a message and understand their child's train of thought. This message allows further exploration and risk-taking. Since children can express an interest in topics outside their parent's comfort level, they know they don't have to wait for approval to ensure parents will provide a safety net if they fail. Parent-child relationships may be more flexible since both adapt, communicate, and negotiate. Authoritative parenting is less rigid regarding discipline and more focused on the learned outcome of an experience. © 2021 Copyright Mission Momplex Permissive parenting parent perspective This style of parenting tends to mimic friendship patterns. Permissive parenting techniques often depend on explicitly proposing extreme levels of freedom, and as such, these relationships may lack boundaries. Caregivers are typically lax and allow a wide range of activities with little regard to consequences so they can establish fluid exchanges between children without fear of conflict. Very few rules need enforcement because children are free to do as they please. Permissive parents tend to be highly responsive to children's goals and desires but typically do not impose limitations. child perspective Given that children crave attention, permissive parenting might be lacking the attention needed to sustain the tiny, empowered mind. Children who can explore freely still want to engage in ways that help them feel in command without feeling out of control. Without parental guidance or limitations, children experience varying personal thresholds if an adult figure has not provided a sense of concern or worry. Since rules go unused, children are unable to work within a comfortable and flexible range of freedom determined by parental figures and, as a result, may be overwhelmed by possibilities or failure. Uninvolved parenting parent perspective Parents who are uninvolved in their children's lives are uncommitted to their child's well-being. They are distant and unattached. Most people may judge innocent parents, but I recommend considering how this happened before making harsh judgments. Parenting is a personal journey, and some people are unaware of the effort it takes. Some experiences happen with little to no thorough understanding of details and of more desired outcomes. Some people never intended to be parents. Some couples lack communication skills. Yes, it happens. There are plenty of situations in life that people just somewhat fake through. Sometimes it works; sometimes it doesn't. If you are a female, you must know how the reproductive system works. If this is unfamiliar to you, I recommend looking into it. child perspective For children, this is unsafe. Whether it is because they need rules and boundaries, or a safe place to eat, children need reliable people in their life. They may become unsure, lack self-esteem, and begin addictive habits young. They are also at risk of becoming an uninvolved parent themselves. It is confusing when you travel through life with no home base. These children will learn and develop with limited security. Helicopter parenting parent perspective Oh, those helicopter parents. When I first began my parenting journey, I remember thinking, "Helicoptering, that sounds fun." I badly wanted to protect my kids from everything harmful they would encounter and encourage them to be the best they could be. While helicopter parents do have their child's best interest at heart, they unintentionally remove opportunities for natural conflict to arise. Helicopter parents tend to plan and micromanage a child's schedule. It is great to be an involved and determined parent, but knowing when you have crossed the line is important too. Sometimes, I wonder if people are implementing specific rules and restrictions because of personal parenting motives because it could be harmful to a child's development. child perspective Children of helicopter parents are not experiencing high levels of personal growth or motivation. If adults remove conflict, children lack those skills in the long run. While it is not necessarily harmful to guide a child or encourage them to persevere, it isn't helpful to train them to complete tasks entirely. A child needs to recognize personal goals and take the necessary steps to achieve a certain success level. Lawn-mower parenting parent perspective This term is new to me. However, I can see how it may resemble helicopter parenting. Lawn-mower parents want to eliminate obstacles by plowing through them themselves, hence the name. This style of parenting involves removing conflict through overactivity, which can be damaging if done too often. While helicopter parents remove obstacles by obsessing and managing a schedule, lawn-mower parents tend and experience conflict. These parents experience scheduled activities firsthand or handle a conflict themselves when personally related to a child's life. child perspective Like children of helicopter parents, these children lack the skills needed to be personally motivated. These children may be unhappy because they cannot experience the joy that comes hand in hand with personal achievement. Suppose kids gain exposure to this overbearing parenting style. In that case, they are less likely to engage in further curiosity because they become too comfortable with parents controlling their schedules and intervening when things get tough. These children will be bored, unenthusiastic, and lack desire. Free-range parenting parent perspective If your son asks you to jump off the couch, what would you say? It is a likely yes from me. But what if the same day, he tells you he will try to jump off the roof. It would be pretty elaborate for a younger child to manage the steps involved, like retrieving a ladder and properly balancing it against the shingles to reach the top, but that doesn't mean some parents inhibit this behavior. Free-range parents allow their children to explore a complete range of activities and experiences fully. This style of parenting is about encouraging autonomy, so tiny humans prepare for future developmental stages. These parents accept that their children have personal goals and respond to their interests with thorough approval and support. child perspective Children of free-range parents likely feel a full range of personal independence. These children also experience the steps involved when carrying out personal goals and desires. Rarely do they need to ask for approval because their parents have consistently responded to requests with parental consent. Children of free-range parents complete activities to the fullest of their ability and are comfortable taking risks. These children feel like making choices out of their own free will because they feel comfortable experiencing positive or negative outcomes. Attachment parenting parent perspective Attachment parenting is about the parent-child bond. Dr. Sears coined this term and is a highly regarded pediatrician known for his Parenting Library. According to WebMD, there are eight principles to attachment parenting that parents utilize starting at birth. These values involve respect, consistent emotional and verbal engagement, closeness, and positivity. Dr. Sears' wrote the 7 baby Bs. Birth bonding Breastfeeding Babywearing Bedding close to babyBelief in the the language value of your baby's cryBeware of baby trainers Balance Parenting with intentional reciprocity is a calm and practical approach to parenting. Parents take into consideration developmental stages and are empathetic when tasks are complicated. This parenting style is often optimistic because parents surround their children with love and support when engaged in their children's goals and desires. child perspective Children who experience this level of closeness feel secure and grounded. Because they have had a strong connection with the parent, they can feel confident in their parent's responsiveness. They learn to value communication, and as a result, can learn to leave the nest. When they consider different options, they understand that they have an adult to rely on when required.